There are just some songs that wreck me. Overfilled with emotion, tears leak out. One minute I’m doing shoulder presses in my basement and the next the weights are set down and the hands lift back up with no resistance. Sweat still beading from my brow is mixed with salty tears. My lips catch each drop and heavy breathing pushes out and the droplets mist in front of me disappearing before they ever hit the ground. My mind drifts back to a few months ago…the last time the lyrics and melody swept me away into complete abandoned worship. Worship that left me in a puddle at the feet of Jesus.
***
The morning was anything but ordinary. It was Tuesday and with much anticipation I was heading to the hospital later that afternoon for my CT scan. This scan would determine, quite honestly, whether or not I was right about the Lord speaking to me about my healing. But first the morning held Coffee Beak, a Bible study at a local church. Not my own church but one that I quickly grew to love. Each lesson seemed tailored just for me and the Lord spoke directly to my heart for weeks. It was right where the Lord placed me for this integral season of my life.
God had given me blessing after blessing after blessing the weeks prior to let me know I was seen, chosen, and loved. And yet like a child, always going after just one more sweet. I too asked the Lord for just one more. “Jesus, I wanna pray to you through worship today. I have prayed and prayed and prayed so long and you know my heart’s desire. I just wanna praise you today. And maybe, if we could sing The Goodness of God, during large group – well then I would just know more than ever – that you have this – all of this.”
It doesn’t take many notes on the keyboard to recognize a song that speaks and breathes life to your soul. I gasped when I heard the music start and my reaction was far from anything I had ever done before. Overcome and overwhelmed I slipped my heels off of my feet. I wanted to stand in my place. I wanted to exalt Jesus and even an inch above the carpet was too high of a place for me. And then I fell to my knees and with hands lifted high and tears streaming down my face I sang with everything in me.
All my life you have been faithful.
All my life you have been so so good.
With every breath that I am able.
I will sing of the goodness of God.
With my life laid down
I’M SURRENDERED NOW
I GIVE YOU EVERYTHING
Your goodness if running after
It’s running after me!!!
I knew in that moment that I was being pursued by Jesus. He was there with pen in hand writing a story only he could imagine, construct, and bring into being.
I am seen. I am known. I am chosen. I am loved.
***
As the bridge played in the cold cement surroundings of my basement. I once again heard his truth of his continued pursuit of my heart, soul, and life. And I took it all in. I took time to remember His goodness that has been poured out each day of my life. And I thanked Him and praised Him and worshiped Him in a not so usual place. Jesus will find you and meet you where you are. Even in a cool basement, on a random Tuesday, during your workout session.
Jesus wants to pursue you and be pursued by you. He wants to lavish you with blessings beyond your comprehension. Are you open to being found? Are you open to being seen? Cherished? Loved?
If so, what are you waiting for? I promise that if you seek Him you will find Him. He’s just waiting for you to ask.
Desiring Today 